should/ shouldn’t
should refrain from always checking if he’s online or not..
shouldn’t have given him my cell phone number..
shouldn’t assume that he also likes me.. i could have just been imagining things and just seeing what i wanted to see..
.. ‘til next.. gotta go!
just missin’ my tumblr account.. and him..
hi, it’s beeeeen.. how long? anyway it’s been a long time now since my last update. here i am now will be celebrating my 1st year anniversay in this company as a CIA (customer intearaction associate). wow the last update was we’re still in training and seems like aeons ago. hehehe! anyway, i have something to tell. looks like i’m feeling the ‘L’ thing again but this time not with him (refer to previous posts about the guy from my batch/class, my batch mate.) but with a totally different person. they have something in common though— they’re both TAKEN and this one’s not just taken he’s married and a father to three kids.. sigh.. why is it always have to be this way.. this one’s terminal and the worst part is it doesn’t really bother me.. well not that much like before when i see couples or heard something about infidelity.. being unfaithful i usually ask what’s wrong with them even though i really don’t voice it out i think bad of them. why do they choose to be a home wrecker? i always ask but i realized now that it’s so easy to judge people. about the OTHER guy you ask?? well all i can say is let bygones be bygones. no news about him though. i think he’s still here in the philippines. he said before that he’s leaving for canada because his girlfriend and his ‘little princess’ are there (congratz to him. his girlfriend gave birth to pricess in november last year). i’m not really sure if they’re still seeing each other.. the OTHER girl (was also my batch mate) who became the love supplier (taken from a song by the moffats) for him which could have been me if only i allowed it and let my feelings took over but no.. i didn’t. i was about to but thought better of it. i wish i could say the same thing this time because this one’s.. like i said ‘terminal’ but i really adore him.. he’s really great! if it’s not for him i’m not gonna be wasting my time again in this internet shop posting in my tumblr account after how many months (my apologies i can’t count right now please do the Math for me) now. and another thing.. it seems that he also wants me. i’m not really sure but probably that’s what happens when you’ve been married for a long time (well not really that long i think) and the feelings that you use to feel before fades and being in this kind of industry or business.. you meet a lot of people.
queuing…
unfortunately, i was not queuing yesterday because i only had one call but it felt good to have your first call on the floor. the client that i spoke with was really pleasant even though she’s an oldie. it was a loong call and i was not able to resolve the customer’s concern but i’m still thankful that she aired her feelings regarding the situation and that i had the chance to really talk to a real customer. it’s really different out there. i’ll do better next time.
Failed!
It never was and never will be. Just accept the fact that he can never be yours. better luck next time! But in the mean time enjoy your time being with him and don’t think too much about the near future.. because it’s not that friendly.. hehehe..
standstill..
Everyday it’s just the same. Always ignoring.. always avoiding. I’m sick and tired of this but I just don’t know what to do. I always want to be with him and i know that he wants me to go with them whenever he asks every one out after work. Just recently. i decided to come along since it’s our friend’s birthday and a drink or two would be nice (even if it’s so early in the morning). It was fun except that i felt really sad and frustrated. it’s because of the fact that even though i’m with him, even though i’m talking to him (sometimes), despite the fact that we’re in the same class, we can’t be “together”.. i can’t have him. I have never thought that this could be so stressful. i know i should do the right thing but i just can’t help myself. i want to be with him. i thought it will all go away as time passes but it didn’t and it’s not getting any better. i’m still not moving forward. it feels like i’m stuck.
live calls, here we come!
That’s right! We’re going to do live calls soon. It’s something that I have been waiting for but dreaded to happen at the same time. I hope that we will all passed training and graduate. I really wish that we will still be together ‘till then.. (sigh) hopefully!
It’s never goodbye..
We’ve been together now for almost two months but it feels like we’ve known each other for a long time. We’ve shared a lot of fond memories for just a short period of time. I never thought that some of us will really say goodbye so soon. By the way, before anything else, we really appreciated the new addition to the family (I’m talking about the direct hires of course plus a QA) and so far they’re really adapting well in our crazy environment. I like it! Going back, this would be one of the saddest part of our training— saying goodbye to not just one but two of our friends be it inside or outside of the workplace. We really wish them good luck in their new endeavors. Even though were sad because they have to leave, we’re also happy that they are about to achieve their dreams. They may not be present during class but that’s just it. We may not be used to not having them around but it’s okay.. because it’s never goodbye. Good luck and we’ll see each other soon.
you’re confusing me..
I don’t get it! You’re supposed to be happy when you’re in love right?! (I’m inlove right?)But why do i feel confused and frustrated? At first i thought the feeling is mutual but then here comes the revelation that he already has a girlfriend and that.. unfortunately.. he loves the girl. What the heck! But then again i can feel that he cares or perhaps he’s just concern about me.. about his FRIEND because we are all friends in the class. We’ve been together for a month now and and hopefully until the next training. I really don’t know what to think or what to do anymore.. (sigh).. If, somehow, he feels something about me.. maybe it’s just like he’s kinda attracted to me or something just like what i feel about him. Nothing more.. nothing special. Just attraction.. it will eventually pass and i feel that i don’t like that idea.. just passing fancy. Probably, he’s just tempted because they’re not together and.. i’m closer.. available. I really don’t like the idea of that. It’s.. it’s not enough for me. But probably it’ll pass.. What’s the sense if he’s not really into me. I’m afraid to take the risk. He should be the one telling me that instead of me always guessing.
tedium
the tedium is getting more and more tedious.. huh? wtf?!